...maybe, maybe not...

Right after the last post, Keston started pointing at stuffs more and giving a tiny bit more response to his name. Mostly though, he prefers to grab our hands and shove our hand in the general direction of whatever he wants.

I realise he responds selectively. The 100% sure proof way to get his attention is "BISCUIT" or "CHEESE". The problem is, if there's no food waiting for him when he turns around, he gets pretty annoyed. Also, he responds more to his daddy than me when we call his name. I think he takes me for granted :P

Keston's basically a very friendly kid-- always smiling at people. Yesterday, we were having dinner in Far East and the aunty there kept calling him "Yan Dao". He loved it and would keep grinning shyly at her everytime she hollered Yan Dao! He keeps very good eye contact.

HW keeps saying "You see him like that, where got A-t----c?" (We avoid using the word ever since I had my suspicions :P)

Well, as long as he points and responds to his name...and hopefully comes up with an understandable word sometime soon...I guess my worries may be unfounded. Till then, guess all I can do is keep talking and teaching him.

ASD

ASD, short for Autism Spectrum Disorders...or better known as Autism.

I've always complained about Keston's slow developments and today for some reasons, I had a niggling feeling and googled Autism. What I found was NOT very reassuring and I am now guaranteed a sleepless night!

Symptoms

By Mayo Clinic staff

Children with autism generally have problems in three crucial areas of development — social interaction, language and behavior. But because the symptoms of autism vary greatly, two children with the same diagnosis may act quite differently and have strikingly different skills. In most cases, though, the most severe autism is marked by a complete inability to communicate or interact with other people.

Many children show signs of autism in early infancy. Other children may develop normally for the first few months or years of life but then suddenly become withdrawn, aggressive or lose language skills they've already acquired. Though each child with autism is likely to have a unique pattern of behavior, these characteristics are common signs of the disorder:

Social skills

• Fails to respond to his or her name check. Keston has almost never responded to his name!
  
• Has poor eye contact
  
• Appears not to hear you at times Sometimes. But usually when we're telling him off.
  
• Resists cuddling and holding Sometimes.
  
• Appears unaware of others' feelings
• Seems to prefer playing alone — retreats into his or her "own world" Sometimes.
  

Language

• Starts talking later than other children Check! He knows no words!
  
• Loses previously acquired ability to say words or sentences Check. He used to say Mama but not anymore (for a long time).
  
• Does not make eye contact when making requests
• Speaks with an abnormal tone or rhythm — may use a singsong voice or robot-like speech
• Can't start a conversation or keep one going
• May repeat words or phrases verbatim, but doesn't understand how to use them

Behavior

• Performs repetitive movements, such as rocking, spinning or hand-flapping Hand-flapping when he's happy. Does that count?
  
• Develops specific routines or rituals
  
• Becomes disturbed at the slightest change in routines or rituals Quite adaptable to changes actually!
• Moves constantly Yes. But don't all toddlers?
  
• May be fascinated by parts of an object, such as the spinning wheels of a toy car
• May be unusually sensitive to light, sound and touch and yet oblivious to pain

Young children with autism also have a hard time sharing experiences with others. When read to, for example, they're unlikely to point at pictures in the book. This early-developing social skill is crucial to later language and social development.

As they mature, some children with autism become more engaged with others and show less marked disturbances in behavior. Some, usually those with the least severe problems, eventually may lead normal or near-normal lives. Others, however, continue to have great difficulty with language or social skills, and the adolescent years can mean a worsening of behavior problems.

The majority of children with autism are slow to acquire new knowledge or skills and some have signs of lower than normal intelligence. Other children with autism have normal to high intelligence. These children learn quickly yet have trouble communicating, applying what they know in everyday life and adjusting in social situations. An extremely small number of children with autism are "autistic savants" and have exceptional skills in a specific area, such as art, math or music.

I read somewhere else about the lack of ability to point. And I kept droning on to HW about how Keston doesn't point. He sticks out his index finger only to poke us, but never to point at stuff.

Of course when we went home this evening, the kid went around pointing at everything. Just to prove a point? HW says he probably felt what I was thinking of all day.

Anyway, I digress. While there are some 'symptoms' that seem to be displayed in most/all toddlers, there are some really disturbing ones that I've highlighted above. Particularly the name-recognition and speech delay bit.

HW thinks I'm overreacting and refused to participate in further discussion with me. I think I need to get Keston assessed! But then I read from local forums that you can only get a proper assessment at 2.5yrs old. That's 1 year more!!!

Seriously hope K starts saying something soon. It's really quite distressing especially since I've always thought the first and foremost symptom is the refusal of eye-contact! I had no idea there were so many other symptoms!!! I hope what he has is just a speech delay. I keep hearing about kids who didn't speak till they were 3 and then they wouldn't shut up...I hope K is one of them. I promise I won't tell him to shut up.

4D3N in Bkk

12-15th Jan-- Keston's 2nd trip overseas.

About a week prior to this, HW came home asking me "Do you dare to bring Keston to Bkk next week?". I said of course! I think it was largely due to the way the question was phrased. I saw it as a challenge, as opposed to a query.

Because it was quite a last minute trip, we weren't quite prepared and did alot of last minute preparations. Number 1 on our list was food concerns. We did not really allow K to take outside food, and yet we would not be able to do any cooking on this trip. Our salvation came in the form of Wakodo baby food, found at Isetan. They had this awesome instant porridge (not cereal) that needs only hot water. Score! We also got a few packets of baby food to mix with the porridge.

The flight to BKK wasn't too bad actually. The flight was actually delayed for an hour, so we were stuck in the plane while K happily grabbed the in-flight magazines, climbed up and down our laps...grinned cheekily at the ang mor 2 seats away. We kept ourselves busy grabbing him back from wandering out, and from playing with other peoples' shoes :P The bugger fell asleep just before take off...and lasted till the food arrived. We proceeded to stuff him with bread to keep him still.
The weather in Bkk was quite nice, rather windy comparatively. K was an absolute joy for most parts-- smiling at everyone. Due to the v unclean environment, I kept him inside the Ergo for the most parts. Only when we were in spacious and clean malls, then did I let him out. Keston adored his newfound legs and freedom and would then run round and round the place, falling down and touching everything he saw. It did help that he was so smiley so the shopkeepers were more amused than harrassed. Most people played with him, tickling him and playing peekaboo with him as he scurried past.

Most Thais expressed disbelief when told that K was 1.5yrs old. We were led to believe that K is a giant baby!!! I suppose it's just a relative comparison cos he's not considered a big sized kid over here. Over there, we got alot of "Oooh! Big Boy!"

His naps were very affected as he does not sleep well outside. He still got his 2 naps, but the durations were 30mins-1hr as opposed to his usual 2-3hrs each. The good thing is, he knocked out every night and slept till late morning everyday. He also pooped everyday before we left the hotel.

We even managed to squeeze in a movie, Avatar. K was napping and I thought he'd sleep through the movie...who knows, he slept through the advertisements and got up when the movie started! But he sat there quietly through almost 2 hours of the movie before we started worrying that he was getting too cold (he was dressed in a singlet and shorts as we didn't plan to watch a movie) and it was past his milk time. I suppose if he had on a jacket and we had his milk ready, we could probably finish the movie.
The flight back was abit of a nightmare. Keston fell asleep when we were queuing up to board the plane. He slept even as I sat down and put the seatbelt around us. But just when the plane was about to take off, he woke up!!! ArrghhH! He wasn't cranky, but he just wanted/needed to walk around, play on the floor..and basically be a menace. When we tried to restrain him back, he'd threaten to cry. It was a vv long flight.

I must say HW was a great help, he packed everything and made sure we had everything we needed every morning before we went out. I just had to scream "Water!', "Towel", "Spoon!", "Toy!" and he'd duly hand everything over. At the end of the trip, he was complaining to K-- "I feel so disgusting, my pockets are all filled with all your things....I feel like Xiao Ding Dang!" Haha

We have another holiday planned in a couple of months and are discussing distractions for his next flight already!

Visit to Fidgets

On the 10th day of Christmas (3rd Jan 2010), we decided to visit Fidgets. I was all excited cos it's pretty near home and would be convenient to bring Keston if he does like it.

When we first entered the main door, I was quite impressed by how big the place is and how the cafe was bustling with life. On the right hand side was a big empty space, occupied by a teeny li'l ballpit. The area was labelled "Little Fidgets", and there were 2 crawlers there. I thought to myself "K is waaay overage for this, let's move on to the left hand side."

On the left were huge structures with slides and ramps...and we stood there for a few minutes before realising the structures were too advanced for our mini toddler. Also, there were too many rowdy pre-schoolers/pri schoolers dashing in every direction.

And so we scuttled back to Little Fidgets. But...but the ballpit there is so ermm...blah? For lack of better words, it's just boring. It's shallow, narrow and dark. And it was squished in with a wee slide that does not allow adult sized objects to navigate. So we couldn't guide Keston in, and truth be told it was v claustrophobic. We stayed there for abit since Keston likes balls but I think even he got bored after awhile...the next section was a big empty area with just 1 little tikes coupe, already occupied by another toddler. We thought we'd come back again when the tod was done, and moved on to the next section. This was a round pit area where there was a ramp with many touchy feely stuff. It's quite nice, albeit small and currently occupied by 4 pre-schoolers prancing about.And thus we were done with Little Fidgets. We moved back to the little tikes area but the same toddler was still at it. And we were bemused to see an angmor girl squeezing herself into the car with the bewildered toddler.

Since there was nothing else to play, we decided to brave the big kids area. It was very difficult to persuade K to climb up the ramp. I understood why when I tried it myself. The foam in the footholds had gone all soft and they collapse when you stepped on them so they didn't really help in climbing up. In addition to that, the ramps were very steep. So it was really difficult to navigate up the ramps. Nevertheless we made our way up the ramps. Came down soon after when I realised the way forward was blocked by 2 huge rotating blocks that had space only for puppies to climb through. Ok fine, kids can squeeze their way through, but there was no way I am gonna get through. And there is NO way I will let Keston get into it himself and get stuck there.

So, up another ramp we went. At least there were 2 ways to go this time. 1 of the way was another of those 'Kids only' entrance and I panicked momentarily when Keston slipped through. I screamed at HW to find where it leads and to stop K at the other end. Thankfully Keston crawled back out to me after a short while. We found a nice shiny slide, which was vvv steep looking. It looks like you're doing a free fall and felt quite scary. BUT wah lau eh, they never wax it or what...cannot slide down! You move for like 15cm and stuck already...anti-climax!

The structures were definitely not suitable for K's age and the pre-schoolers were pretty rowdy as well. When we were getting K to climb through a tube, a bunch of kids just pushed their way into the tube with him and forced their way through. When K was in the teeny ballpit, an angmor boy came along and attempted to step on him for God knows what reason, and then went on to mutter something rude (can't remember what). Not everyone was rude of course, there was a nice Chinese boy who kept picking up balls to give Keston (??) .

In the process, we kept a lookout for the little tikes car. By now there was a pre-schooler Chinese boy occupying it. He looked to be about 3-4. Everytime he wanted to get out of the car, he'd stand by the door. Once any other kid attempts to take over, he'd push them away and squeeze in again. This went on for quite some time. As we were about to leave the place already, HW wanted K to try the car. We knew K probably wasn't really interested in it but wanted to try anyway. So HW brought K over to the boy in the car and asked him if we could borrow the car for a couple of minutes. The boy flatly said NO and sulked at him. HW was so taken aback by the boy's attitude that he made Keston stand beside the car so the boy's mummy will be pai sey and ask the boy to give way. It took her a few minutes to get the hint. And when she asked him to give way, he flatly refused again. She went back to sit but HW persisted in asking her to get her son out for a few minutes as we were gonna leave. As the boy refused to give up possession of the car, she had to drag him out. Did I say drag? I mean DRAG! She pulled with all her might and the boy held on with all his strength. When she eventually won the tug of war and got his butt out, he still refused to let go of the steering wheel. When she finally managed to pry his fingers loose, he yelled and screamed and bawled. Then he went on to knock his head on the parquet flooring with a loud THUD! The mother was embarrassed maybe, pissed most definitely (although possibly at us :P) and went on to spank the kid. Aiyoh, at that moment I wanted to denounce any links I had with HW and K....I felt so bad lor! Later I asked HW why he was so insistent, he said cos the boy was rude!! Haiz...I hope K never reaches this uncontrollable stage!In summary, I don't think I will go back to Fidgets again. At least not for the next year or so.

Night Terrors

Last sunday, we finally brought Keston to The Polliwogs. HW had some errand to run in the east so we thought we'd drop by the indoor playground. Keston, as usual, loved the ballpit and the slides. It was abit tiring for us as we had to guide him through the play structure to get to the slides-- that means lots of crouching, crawling and climbing. HW kept complaining that it's damn tiring but he still got on with his fatherly duties.

That same night, I had the hardest time putting Keston to sleep. My normal 'routine' would be to dump him on my bed, off the lights while I continue surfing the net. He'd usually climb up and down, lie on my tummy, lick my knees, bang on the laptop..until he falls asleep happily. But that night, after just a couple of minutes of moving, he started sobbing. I gave him his pacifier and he kept spitting it out. I tried cuddling him and he'd calm down for abit and then start crying again. It went on and on for 2+hours until he fell asleep due to pure exhaustion. But shortly after he was asleep, he started stirring and crying in his sleep. He wasn't awake, just crying hysterically in his sleep. My ils keep saying "All babies are like that." But NO, Keston is usually a great great sleeper at night! When he sleeps at night, nothing can wake him up. Anyway, I digress. It was difficult to calm him down and it took awhile before he stopped crying and continued sleeping.....The whole saga lasted the whole night. I tried teething gel, ruyi oil, massage oils...

The next night, same thing happened.

On the 3rd night, he didn't cry too much before falling asleep so I thought it's all over. I went out to watch tv and he began crying hysterically shortly. I managed to pacify him in a short while and went back out. Again, he started crying. Upon suggestions from other mummies, I decided to wake him up. I turned on the lights and brought him out to the living room. Despite the light, he continued crying hysterically. Carry also cry, don't carry also cry. Sit down also cry, lie down also cry. Give pacifier also don't want. Give milk don't want. The only thing that calmed him down was his baby puffs. HW didn't want to give him too much to eat and kept trying to stop him, which induced more wails. It was a long long night. I had to carry him (in sitting up position) and walked around the house in the dark. He wouldn't let me sit down on the bed...he'd only permit me to sit down on a chair by the window--which is bloody eerie if you ask me!

And so this went on till I thought he was much calmer and went to lie down on the bed. He didn't really cry anymore, but was still v restless and somehow fell asleep around 4am.

The 4th night, I knew I couldn't take it anymore and went to EYS to buy this 八宝散. It's actually for cough, phlegm but the staff recommended it for night wakings. So wth, just try lah. That night, no problem at all! Keston fell asleep easily and slept peacefully all night. To add to that, we placed the bible by the bed and played a worship cd all night.

The next morning while I was watching tv with Keston, the tv channel started changing by itself! Not once, but 3 times!! I was so freaked that I went to off the main switch. I know there are perfectly scientific reasons for this (circuit failure and whatnots) but freaky nontheless.

On the 5th night, HW didn't want me to give K the powder anymore cos he says there's probably some alcohol or drug contents to make you drowsy. But I persisted as I was afraid he'll go hysterical again. As expected he slept very well. At one point in time, I actually moved the bible over his body and at that exact instant, Keston sat upright and raised both arms into the air, with his face tilted upwards!!! As suddenly as it happened, he collapsed and continued sleeping. WTF! Tell me what to think?

Yesterday was the 6th night and we went drug free. Everything was fine and I hope the night terrors stay away!